Santa

Santa chemist ki shop pe 1 bottle le
k gaya aur ek chamach liquid
shopkeeper ko pila k bola- 'Mitha
hai Kya ?'
Dukandar bola- Nahi, kyu kya hai ye?
Santa - Docter ne Bola chemist ki
shop se urine me sugar check karwa
k aao...! Wo check krane aya tha.

School V/s College

Really Girls are very Smart

Girl: Apple ka Rate kya hai?
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Applewala: 100 Rs ke 10,
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Girl: kuch kam karo na plz..
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Applwala: Acha aap 80 ke 8 lelo
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Girl: Thanku,
dedo...
ye huyi na Baat...

Girls will be Girls!

Girls will be girls!
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Gf giving house directions 2 her Bf-
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"Come to the front gate of my apartment where you
drop me, look for flat 9A,
you ll find a lift on ur right.
hit 9 with ur ELBOW.....
get out of the lift u'll find my flat on left....
hit the doorbell wid ur ELBOW & I ll get the door 4u"
Bf says- Dear that seems easy but why m I hitting
buttons with my elbows?
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Gf-"0MG! Are you coming empty handed ???"

Santa

Santa was lying on beach,
American: R u Relaxing?
Santa:No I m Santa Singh,
Another Amrican: R u relaxing?
Santa: No I m Santa Singh
Another American: R u relaxing?
Santa: No (Shouting)
I m santa Singh >:O
Santa left that
place in anger.
Then Santa asks one American
lying nearby,
R u relaxing?
American: Yes.
Santa slaps him & says,
Bastrd Everyone is looking for you and you are lying here  :D

Google

Teacher : Google is a girl or a boy..?
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Student: Google is a Girl.....because it won't let you complete
the whole sentence and start guessing, suggesting.....and
you ask only one question.....
but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds.. :P

Hights Of Illiteracy

Finally, I told my parents that I want a Blackberry or An Apple..
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My Mother said: "Ghar mein Mosambi hai, pehle woh kha".

Girl's Logic

Magic Of 3 Seconds

Research Says That:
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Girls Take 3 Days To Judge A Boy,
Whether She Likes Him Or Not.
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But Boys Take Only Three Seconds..!!
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1st Second:"Kya Ladki Hai Yaar
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2nd Second: Mast Hai Yaar
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3rd Second:"Bhai Mujhe Pyar Ho
Gaya..

Delhi Aa Gya

Train me baithi Ladki ne platform par
khade Ladke se pucha:
"Kaun sa station hai ye??
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Ladka:
"I Love You bologi tab hi bataunga.. :D
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Ladki:
"Hey Bhagwan! Matlab DELHI aa GAYA".

Time to Study

Hi Friends,

It Is No Fault Of Student Becoz A Year Has Only 365 Days.

Days In A Year = 365

Sundays = 52 Days
Sundays Are Meant For Rest

Days Left = 313 Days

Summer Vacations = 60 Days
Weather Is Very Hot, and its a Vacation

Days Left = 253 Days

8 Hours Of Daily Sleep = 122 Days
Sleep Is Necessary

Days Left = 131

1 Hour Daily For Play = 15 Days
Its Good For Health

Days Left = 116 Days

2 Hours Daily For Food = 30 Days
Chew The Food Properly Don't Care For Time

Days Left = 86 Days

Examination Days In A Year = 30 Days
Giving Exams Is Necessary

Days Left = 56 Days

Winter Vacations = 25 Days

Weather Is Cold Its Difficult To Study

Days Left = 31 Days

Other Holidays = 20 Days

These Holidays Are To Enjoy

Days Left = 11 Days

Illness At least Once A Year = 8 Days
Becoz Of Illness Study Is Difficult

Days Left = 3 Days

Result Days = 2 Days
Going And Taking Result Is Necessary

Days Left =1 Days
 

Now Tell Who Study's On His Birthday

So Tell Me Where Is The Time To Study?

Congress

टीचर- मैं अगर तुम्हारे बाप को एक करोड़ रूपया दुँ, उसमेँ से तीस लाख का उनहोने मकान बनवाया।

अब कितना पैसा मुझे वापिस करेंगे??

छात्र- सर एक रूपया भी नहीं।

टीचर- तुम इतना आसान से सवाल का भी उत्तर नहीं जानते??

छात्र- सर,मैं तो उत्तर जानता हुँ, पर आप मेरे बाप को नहीं जानते है।

टीचर- क्या,करते ­ है तुम्हारे डैड?

छात्र- सर,वो कांग्रेस सरकार में मंत्री है........

LOL Statement

The Biggest LOL Statement:
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Computers and Mobiles were invented to save our time..!!!!

Ladkiaan Duffer Hoti Hain

Papu: Hey I have Just Installed
Windows 8 In My PC !! ♥ :D
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Girl: Kis Zamane Ka Hai Tu
janwar,
I'm Using Windows 98..!!

21st Century

M0M TO S0N IN
17th CENTURY:
Beta apni CAST ki larki se hi Shaadi karna.

18th CENTURY:

...
Beta apnay LEVEL ki larki se hi Shaadi karna.

19th CENTURY:
Beta apnay MULK ki larki se hi Shaadi karna.

20th CENTURY:
Beta apnay RELIGI0N ki larki se hi Shaadi karna.

21st CENTURY:
Beta LARKI se hi Shaadi karna.:P :P

Honest Pappu

Two girls are traveling in a train:

Girl-1: Tujhe kaisa pati chahiye?

Girl-2: Mujhe Crorepati chaiiye.

Girl-1: Crorepati na miley to?

Girl-2: 50 lakh ke 2 pati chalege.

Girl-1: 50 lakh ke na miley to?

Girl-2: 25 lakh ke 4 pati bhi
chalege.

UPPER birth pe soya hua Pappu
bola:
JAB YE 1000 RUPAYE PE AAYE TO
MUJHE UTHA
DENA..;)

Santa At His Best

Doctor To Santa :- Aap ki Ek KidneyFail Ho Gayi Hai,
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Santa Pehle To Bohat Roya,
Phir Aansu Ponchte Huwe
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Kitne Number Se ?? :O =D :D

Story Of Every Couple

Why did barfi got selected for Oscar.?
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B'coz it is a real story of every couple.

A Mad wife, A Mute husband, and a beautiful Ex GirlFriend :D :P

Great Student

Physics Teacher: What is this measurable unit "µ" called?
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IT student : Torrent :-P :-D!

Interview

Interviewer :Let me check your word Power...

Candidate: ok Sir .....

Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of .....good.

Candidate: hmmmm..... Bad

Interviewer : Come

Candidate: Go.

Interviewer : Ugly.

Candidate: Pichlli.

Interviewer : PICHLLIIIII?

Candidate: UGLYYYYYYYYY..

Interviewer : Shut Up.

Candidate: Keep Talking.

Interviewer ok now stop these all..

Candidate: now carry on this all

Interviewer :abe...chup ho ja..chup ho ja..chup ho jaaaa

Candidate:abe bolta rah..bolta rah..bolta rahhh

Interviewer :Areeee yaaar

Candidate: areeee dushmannnnnn

Interviewer : Get Out.

Candidate: Come In.

Interviewer : Oh my God.

Banta : Oh my Devil.

Interviewer : U r Rejected.

Candidate: I m selected...Thank u thank u sir