Girl's Logic

Magic Of 3 Seconds

Research Says That:
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Girls Take 3 Days To Judge A Boy,
Whether She Likes Him Or Not.
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But Boys Take Only Three Seconds..!!
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1st Second:"Kya Ladki Hai Yaar
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2nd Second: Mast Hai Yaar
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3rd Second:"Bhai Mujhe Pyar Ho
Gaya..

Delhi Aa Gya

Train me baithi Ladki ne platform par
khade Ladke se pucha:
"Kaun sa station hai ye??
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Ladka:
"I Love You bologi tab hi bataunga.. :D
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Ladki:
"Hey Bhagwan! Matlab DELHI aa GAYA".

Time to Study

Hi Friends,

It Is No Fault Of Student Becoz A Year Has Only 365 Days.

Days In A Year = 365

Sundays = 52 Days
Sundays Are Meant For Rest

Days Left = 313 Days

Summer Vacations = 60 Days
Weather Is Very Hot, and its a Vacation

Days Left = 253 Days

8 Hours Of Daily Sleep = 122 Days
Sleep Is Necessary

Days Left = 131

1 Hour Daily For Play = 15 Days
Its Good For Health

Days Left = 116 Days

2 Hours Daily For Food = 30 Days
Chew The Food Properly Don't Care For Time

Days Left = 86 Days

Examination Days In A Year = 30 Days
Giving Exams Is Necessary

Days Left = 56 Days

Winter Vacations = 25 Days

Weather Is Cold Its Difficult To Study

Days Left = 31 Days

Other Holidays = 20 Days

These Holidays Are To Enjoy

Days Left = 11 Days

Illness At least Once A Year = 8 Days
Becoz Of Illness Study Is Difficult

Days Left = 3 Days

Result Days = 2 Days
Going And Taking Result Is Necessary

Days Left =1 Days
 

Now Tell Who Study's On His Birthday

So Tell Me Where Is The Time To Study?

Congress

टीचर- मैं अगर तुम्हारे बाप को एक करोड़ रूपया दुँ, उसमेँ से तीस लाख का उनहोने मकान बनवाया।

अब कितना पैसा मुझे वापिस करेंगे??

छात्र- सर एक रूपया भी नहीं।

टीचर- तुम इतना आसान से सवाल का भी उत्तर नहीं जानते??

छात्र- सर,मैं तो उत्तर जानता हुँ, पर आप मेरे बाप को नहीं जानते है।

टीचर- क्या,करते ­ है तुम्हारे डैड?

छात्र- सर,वो कांग्रेस सरकार में मंत्री है........

LOL Statement

The Biggest LOL Statement:
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Computers and Mobiles were invented to save our time..!!!!

Ladkiaan Duffer Hoti Hain

Papu: Hey I have Just Installed
Windows 8 In My PC !! ♥ :D
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Girl: Kis Zamane Ka Hai Tu
janwar,
I'm Using Windows 98..!!

21st Century

M0M TO S0N IN
17th CENTURY:
Beta apni CAST ki larki se hi Shaadi karna.

18th CENTURY:

...
Beta apnay LEVEL ki larki se hi Shaadi karna.

19th CENTURY:
Beta apnay MULK ki larki se hi Shaadi karna.

20th CENTURY:
Beta apnay RELIGI0N ki larki se hi Shaadi karna.

21st CENTURY:
Beta LARKI se hi Shaadi karna.:P :P

Honest Pappu

Two girls are traveling in a train:

Girl-1: Tujhe kaisa pati chahiye?

Girl-2: Mujhe Crorepati chaiiye.

Girl-1: Crorepati na miley to?

Girl-2: 50 lakh ke 2 pati chalege.

Girl-1: 50 lakh ke na miley to?

Girl-2: 25 lakh ke 4 pati bhi
chalege.

UPPER birth pe soya hua Pappu
bola:
JAB YE 1000 RUPAYE PE AAYE TO
MUJHE UTHA
DENA..;)

Santa At His Best

Doctor To Santa :- Aap ki Ek KidneyFail Ho Gayi Hai,
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Santa Pehle To Bohat Roya,
Phir Aansu Ponchte Huwe
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Kitne Number Se ?? :O =D :D

Story Of Every Couple

Why did barfi got selected for Oscar.?
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B'coz it is a real story of every couple.

A Mad wife, A Mute husband, and a beautiful Ex GirlFriend :D :P

Great Student

Physics Teacher: What is this measurable unit "µ" called?
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IT student : Torrent :-P :-D!

Interview

Interviewer :Let me check your word Power...

Candidate: ok Sir .....

Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of .....good.

Candidate: hmmmm..... Bad

Interviewer : Come

Candidate: Go.

Interviewer : Ugly.

Candidate: Pichlli.

Interviewer : PICHLLIIIII?

Candidate: UGLYYYYYYYYY..

Interviewer : Shut Up.

Candidate: Keep Talking.

Interviewer ok now stop these all..

Candidate: now carry on this all

Interviewer :abe...chup ho ja..chup ho ja..chup ho jaaaa

Candidate:abe bolta rah..bolta rah..bolta rahhh

Interviewer :Areeee yaaar

Candidate: areeee dushmannnnnn

Interviewer : Get Out.

Candidate: Come In.

Interviewer : Oh my God.

Banta : Oh my Devil.

Interviewer : U r Rejected.

Candidate: I m selected...Thank u thank u sir

Mistake

A One Line
Advertisement By A Married Man In
A Newspaper:
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For Sale: Wedding Suit,
Worn Only Once By Mistake.. ;-)

Santa At His Best

Santa:I Made My Son Fool

Banta : How?

Santa:Last Night,He Stole All My Money And Spent It

Banta : But How U Fooled Him?

Santa: I Was Awoken But Did'nt Stop Him!

Hathi Chinti

Three ants find an elephant asleep.
One says,"We'll kill him!"
Other one says,"We'll break his legs!"
3rd one says:
"Choro yaar bechara akela hai aur hum teen..!!":-)

Crazy C.I.D. Facts

1. Daya Has The World Record Of Breaking Most Number Of Doors.
2. C.I.D Bureau Has 1 Toyota Qualis Since Last 11 Years.
3. In Entire 20 Storeyed Building Of C.I.D Only 7 People Works.
4. There Is No Police,C.I.D Handles Every Case.
5. Accused Person Accdpts His Crime Only After Getting Slap From Daya On Face.
6. None Of Them Ever Got Married.
7. None Of Them@Ever Got Promotion, Not Even Acp.
8. Salunke Just Presses Control & Alt, & Gets Finger Prints Tested.
9. People Remember A Person They Just Saw Once & Give Exact Sketch.
10.End Of Episode, All Criminals Get@Faansi(Phansi)

Aaj ka Bacha

Ek Bhikhari Ek Ghar Mein Beekh
Mangne Gaya,

Andar Se Ek Chota sa Baccha
Aaya..
Bhikhari: “Bhagwan Ke Naam Pe
De De
Baba"

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Baccha:- Main baba Nahi
BetaHoon”
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Bhikhari: “Bhagwan Ke Naam Par
De
De Beta"

Baccha:- “Mera Naam Pappu Hai"
Bhikhari: “Bhagwan Ke Naam Par
De
De Pappu
beta"

Baccha: “Mera Poora Naam Pappu
Rathore Hai"
Bhikhari: “Bhagwan Ke Naam Par
De
De Pappu
Rathore beta"

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Baccha: Ye Hui Na Baat, MaafKaro
Babaaaaaaaa ,
Ghar pe koi nahi

Koyla Ghotala

Proud To Be Indians

A Japani came to INDIA...!
He took an auto to go to the
airport, on the way a Honda
overtakes ...
Japani: HONDA made in
JAPAN..... very fast... next a toyota
overtakes
Japani: TOYOTA made in
JAPAN.....very fast ....
Reached Airport & asked How
Much?
Driver: RS. 8000 .... Japani: Why so
expensive??
Driver: METER made in
INDIA ........''VERY
FAST.....'' :D

Congress Party Zindabad

Ek Aadmi ne Fish pakdi
ghar aaya to dekha


Na Gas
Na Aata
Na Bijli
Na Oil
admi vapas Fish ko nadi me fek aaya.


Fish chillai Congress Party zindabad zindabad..!

Power Cut In Delhi

Singham Effect

Singham Effect


Dad: Result kya aaya?


Boy: Aai chya gavat, fail ho gaya.


Dad: Besharam! Nalayak..


Boy: Kuch bhi karne ka,
Mera ego hurt nahin karne ka!


Dad: Aaj se teri pocket money bandh.


Boy: Meri jarooriyat kam he,
Isi liye meri zamir me dum he.


Dad: Get out.


Boy: Aata Maaji satakli re!


Dad: Mujhe ab papa mat kehna.


Boy: Ae Gotya.. Gotya.. Gotya :D

Santa Rocks Truely

Sir: Define Energy?


Santa:sir mujhe pura nai ata sirf last ka thoda ata he


Sir:O ok jitna ata he utna hi bolo 


Santa:'and this is called Energy'...;)

Anything for Good Marks

Question: "How to Kill an Ant??"
Asked in an Exam for 10 Marks!!
Student:
Mix Chilli Powder with Sugar,
&
keep It Outside the Ant's Hole..!
After eating, Ant will Search for some
Water near a Water tank.
Push ant in to it.. =!!
Now Ant will go to Dry itself Near Fire,
When it Reaches fire, Put a Bomb into
D fire..!!
Then Admit Wounded Ant in ICU..!! =O
And Then Remove Oxygen Mask from
it's Mouth and Kill the Ant.. !! =|
MORAL:
Don't Play with Students.. !!
They can Do any thing for 10
Marks.. :D

C.I.D,

Girl : Wh@t @r3 y3w d0!nG ? m@ BeIb3H !


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Boy : Nothing much, just about to throw a dictionary on your damn face so you can write properly ?

Love Story Of Engineer

LOVE STORY OF ENGINEER:
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I was in 12th
She was in 12th
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I got B.Tech
She got BA
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I was doing B.Tech
She got M.A.
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I was preparing for M.TECH
entrance,
She got married
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I m doing M.TECH
She is d mother of 2 children
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I got PH.D
Her daughter is in 1st std,
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I became DOCTORATE
her daughter passed 10th
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I have started job.
Her Daughter joined College.
The Greatest irony-
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Today is my marriage & Her
daughter is my WIFE .
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Sala Agle Janam Arts hi Lunga

Husband - Wife

Husband and Wife fighting infront of child


Wife: " Tu sala kutta "..


Husband: " Tu saali kutti"..


Child: Hehehe.. Mai Saala Pilla..

Chudail Bhi Aurat Hi Hoti Hai

EK shaitaani Chudail ne 60 saal k husband-wife se kaha-
Main tum dono ki ek ek wish puri kar sakti hu.
Wife: Main apne pati ke saath saari duniya ghumna chahti hu. Chudail ne Chadhii ghumaai aur 2 tickets aa gaye.
Phir husband se poochha:
Tum bolo, kya chaahte ho??????? Husband: Mujhe apne se 30 saal chhoti wife chahiye. Chudail ne Chadhii ghumai
aur husband ko 90 saal ka kar diya!
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→ Moral: Aadmi ko yaad
rakhna chaahiye k chudail
bhi aurat hi hoti hai....

A Health Tip

A Health Tip:
Girlfriend Ke Hoto Pe
Honey Laga Ke Kiss Kia Jaye Toh Gulab
Jamun Ka Taste Aaega ... Or Khansi B Thik Ho Jayegi
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- DR. Imran Hasmi 

It's Better To Fail than to Cheat ..... But ,
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It's Better To Cheat than to Repeat .....

Padh Raha Hu

Maa- "Beta, kya kr rahe ho...?"
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Beta- "Padh raha hu..."
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Maa- " Wah Excellent...!!!
Kya padh rahe ho...?"
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Beta- "Aapki hone wali BAHU ke messages"

Train ka Engine Chum Liya

Ek Aadmi k Lips Jale Hue The
Docytor Ne Pucha - Ye Kaise Hua
Aadmi - Biwi ko Maaeke Chodne K liye RailwayStation Gya Tha Khushi k Maare Train  ka Engine Chum Liya .

फेसबुक टाइमलाइन और PM मनमोहन सिंह

फेसबुक टाइमलाइन और PM मनमोहन सिंह में एक समानता है :- ?
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दोनों हमपर जबरदस्ती थोपे गए है और इन्हें हम अपनी इच्छा से हटा भी नहीं सकते...

Agent Vinod's Tickets

Ticket Seller: Boss , No one Is Buying Agent Vinod's Tickets. We Will Be Ruined....
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Theatre Owner: Give It Free. Once They Enter, Close The Doors And Start Selling EXIT tickets for Rs 200..

Pappu

Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?
Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.

Height of Good Luck

Height of Good Luck:
Teacher: Hey! Stand up. Tell me
two pronouns.
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Student: Who? Me?
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Teacher: Very good. Sit down

I'm Ignoring You

Father of None

A couple had a fight one night

Going to bed Husband says:

Good night mother of my 3 kids.

Wife Replied: Good night father of none.

B.Com Final Year

A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl . He Went and Kissed her.
Girl: "STUPID What Are You doing?"
Sardar: B.Com final year !!!!!

A Man to Santa - Your Friend Is Kissing Your Wife In  Your Home .
He Rushes To His Home And Come With In Half An Hour And Slapped That Man And Said - He Was Not My Friend !!!!!

Reactions Of Girls

3 reactions of a girl without a Boyfriend..


1) Main nahi padti in chakkaro me :|


2) Gharwale important hain aur unke saamne Bf kuch bhi nahi.. : )


3) Sab ladke kutte hote hain.. :|


Same girl after having boyfriend..


1) Yaar pata nahi kaise ho gaya pyaar, Uske siway kuch nahi dikhta ab mujhe :


2) Gharwalon ko manana padega kaise bhi.. I can't leave him :|


3) Wo baaki ladkon ki tarah kutta nahi hai... He loves me alot.. 

My Life's Goal

Pyar karne Vaale kisi ki Parvah Nahi karte

Girlfriend :- Kya tum mujhse pyar karte ho?

Boyfriend :- Haan, karta hu

Girlfriend :- Lekin tum to meri koi parvah nahi karte.

Boyfriend :- Pyar karne vale kisi ki parvah nahi karte...

Modern Snake Charmer

Girl - which computer do u have?
Boy - I have a computer with intel core i7 processor at 3.3 ghz, windows 7, 64 bit, 8gb RAM & nvidia gtx 560 graphics card . 


Boy - Which computer do You have ?
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Girl - A PINK ONE !!!!

How To Tie a Lungi

Aankh lg Gai

Teacher - Beta kl School Kyoon Nahi Aaye ?
Student - Ma'am Gir Gya Aur lg Gai .
Teacher - Khaan Gire Aur khaan Lagi ?
Student - Takiye Pe Gir Gya Aur Aankh lg Gai .....

Bas Badhia Tu Suna

Teacher - Tell me the names of all the Planets ....!
Student - Venus, Earth , Mars !
Teacher - Aur suna.....!
Student - Bas Badhia tu suna .....

Pledge Of Boys -

Pledge Of Boys -

India Is My Nation

Girls Are My Destination

Dating Is My Occupation

Setting Is My Profession

Between This What The Hell Is Education .

Sardi Ka Khoof

In Winters
Chor (To a Person) - Chup Chaap Saare Paise De Do Nahi To Ek Baalti Thande Paani ki Daal Dunga .